The patterns are cycles, not weeks, which is why typing them into an ordinary calendar goes wrong by the second month. Here's each one laid out, and how to set it up so it fills itself in.
Why a normal calendar drifts
Most calendar apps repeat on a weekly rule: every Monday, every other Friday. Custody schedules mostly don't work that way.
A 2-2-3 repeats every fourteen days. A 2-2-5-5 repeats every fourteen days too, but with a different shape. Alternating weeks is the one pattern that does fit a weekly rule, which is why it's the easiest to set up and the most common starting point.
Anything on a fourteen-day cycle can't be expressed as "every Tuesday", so people end up either entering each handover by hand for the next few months, or building a repeat rule that's nearly right and quietly drifts. Both fail in the same way: one parent is working from a stale version.
The common patterns, laid out
2-2-3
A fourteen-day cycle. Parent A has the children two days, Parent B two days, Parent A three days — then it flips, so the next week Parent B gets the two-day block first.
Week 1 Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
A A B B A A A
Week 2 Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
B B A A B B BNobody goes more than three days without seeing the children, and weekends alternate automatically. It suits younger children and parents who live close enough that mid-week handovers aren't a journey.
2-2-5-5
Also fourteen days. Parent A has two days, Parent B two days, then each has a five-day block.
Week 1 Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
A A B B A A A
Week 2 Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
A A B B B B BEach parent always has the same two weekdays, which is the reason to pick it — Monday and Tuesday are always yours, so clubs, appointments and work patterns can be planned around them permanently.
Alternating weeks
Seven days each, handover usually Friday after school or Sunday evening. Simplest to run and the easiest to put in any calendar, because it genuinely is a weekly rule. The trade-off is a full week between seeing the children, which suits older children better than toddlers.
Alternating weekends
One parent has the children on weekdays; the other takes every other weekend, often with a mid-week evening. Fourteen-day cycle. Common where one home is further away or one parent travels for work.
Setting it up so it fills itself
Whichever pattern you're on, the setup is the same three steps.
1. Agree the cycle and the start date. The start date is the thing people skip, and it's what makes two calendars disagree. Write down the exact day the current cycle began — not the day you created the calendar.
2. Enter it once as a repeating cycle, not as individual days. If your app only repeats weekly, that's the limitation to work around. A tool that lets you define a cycle of any length — fourteen days for 2-2-3 and 2-2-5-5, seven for alternating weeks — will fill months ahead from one entry.
3. Share it with the other parent, read access at minimum. The point is that neither of you has to ask. A calendar only one parent can see is a diary.
In BoardSpy, the 2-2-3 pattern is a named preset: tap 2-2-3 / Pitman, set your start date, and it fills the next 120 days. For 2-2-5-5, alternating weeks or anything else, paint the cycle by hand — custom cycles go up to 56 days, which covers every custody pattern in normal use. Then share the calendar with your co-parent by link or code.
The free plan covers one shared calendar for 2 people, including you — which is exactly two co-parents. If you need a third person on it, a grandparent doing a pickup or a new partner, that needs Pro.
When one of you works shifts
This is where co-parenting calendars get genuinely hard, and it's worth treating separately.
If one parent works a rotation — nights, 4 on 4 off, a 2-2-3 work pattern — then two cycles are running at once and they don't line up. Your custody week and your work week drift against each other, so the question "can you take them Thursday?" has a different answer every fortnight.
The only thing that helps is seeing both cycles in the same place. Put the work rotation in as its own pattern alongside the custody one, and the clashes become visible weeks ahead rather than on the day.
BoardSpy ships named presets for the common rotations — DuPont, Panama, 2-2-3 / Pitman, 4 on 4 off, 4 on 4 off rotating, D-D-N-N-O-O, 5-2, 24/48 and 48/96 — so the work side goes in once. A second rotation needs Pro; the free plan covers one.
Handovers and the drive
The practical failure in co-parenting isn't the schedule, it's the handover time. A 6pm handover across town on a Friday is not the same journey as a 6pm handover on a Sunday, and being late to one is the thing that turns a logistics problem into an argument.
If your handovers involve a drive at a fixed time, a fixed alarm is wrong most weeks. BoardSpy times its alarm to the live traffic drive time on the actual route plus a five-minute buffer, so the leave-by time moves with the road rather than staying where you set it in January.
What to put in the calendar beyond the nights
The schedule is the skeleton. The things that cause friction are usually the ones nobody wrote down:
- Handover times and places, explicitly, not "after school"
- School events that need one or both parents
- Medical appointments, and which parent is taking them
- Holidays and birthdays, agreed early rather than negotiated in December
- Clubs and activities, so neither parent books over them
Putting those in the shared calendar rather than in messages means the answer is somewhere you can both check, which removes a whole category of disagreement.
A note on what a calendar can't do
A shared calendar makes an agreed arrangement easier to run. It isn't a legal document, it doesn't prove anything, and it won't fix a disagreement about what the arrangement should be. If the schedule itself is contested, that's a conversation — or a solicitor — not an app.
What it does do is remove the forty small frictions that come from two people working off different versions of the same plan.
Frequently asked questions
What is a 2-2-3 custody schedule?
A fourteen-day cycle where one parent has the children for two days, the other for two days, then the first parent for three. The pattern flips in the second week, so weekends alternate and neither parent goes more than three days without seeing them.
What is the best calendar for co-parenting?
Whichever one both parents will actually open. The practical requirements are that it handles a cycle longer than a week, that both homes can see it, and that changes show up for both. A calendar only one parent checks is the same as no calendar.
How do I share a custody calendar with my ex?
Create the schedule in a shared calendar app and send an invite link or code. Most apps let you set whether the other person can edit or only view — view-only is often the calmer option when the schedule is settled and you just need both homes looking at the same thing.
Can a co-parenting calendar handle shift work?
It can if it understands rotations. A work rotation and a custody schedule are two separate cycles of different lengths, so they drift against each other. Apps that only repeat weekly can't express either one properly. BoardSpy has named presets for common shift rotations and custom cycles up to 56 days for custody patterns.
Is a shared calendar enough, or do we need a co-parenting app?
For most arrangements a shared calendar is enough. Dedicated co-parenting apps add expense tracking and messaging with records, which matter mainly where there's active conflict or a court is involved. If you and your co-parent communicate fine and just need the schedule visible, a calendar is simpler and both of you are more likely to use it.
How far ahead should a co-parenting calendar go?
Far enough that school holidays and family events are already in it before anyone needs to ask. Three to four months is a reasonable working horizon — BoardSpy fills 120 days ahead from a start date, which covers a school term plus the holiday either side of it.